I do what I can. In the past I’ve struggled with the reality that I am far, far from who I want to be. Somehow from all that self-hate and turmoil, I surfaced with this notion: in order to become the man I want to be, I have to let all my hate and worry and disappointment float away like dry leaves on a creek, forgive myself, and be patient with myself. And so I do. Sometimes it is difficult.

Everyone’s talking about the moon last night. Sarah’s mom called as she and Sarah’s sisters were driving back to Ohio, just to tell us to look at it. Georgina wrote an LJ entry about it. Sarah and I saw it as we were walking around the UVM campus, appreciating the constantly changing display of beauty around us – the darkening eastern sky as the sun went down in the west, and a lone pink cloud; the Green Mountains looking gray-blue on the horizon; the eerie cool and quiet and white light of morning, but in the evening. We shared communion (a red apple Sarah found in her backpack) and talked about holy, earthy things. As we walked out from behind a building, there, rising big and yellow from behind Mt. Mansfield, was the moon, totally unexpected. It followed us the whole way home.